This broken mess held together
With the one strand you pulled away
Deafened by the same noise
How much pain can my body take
I can't live without my life
But you can have this heart to break
Beyond my struggled hurt thinking
There's so much chaos in the room
I hear nothing but you breathing
Something inside me still wants to know
All that I want and all that I have
You are wanting me to let go.
I think about you all the time.
Even when we went a couple years with out talking.
Wishing things were good for us and not slime.
My thoughts are always filled about you.
Then the day came when you talked to me.
I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it.
I thought you would never speak to me again
I write to you all the time but when I the time came to send
I got scared and tried to pretend.
You no longer existed.
Then you messaged me and my heart was so sore and torn.
I didn't know what to do or say anymore.
I'm in a relationship and you come to me out of the blue and my emotions are all over the place now I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR SAY!
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Friday, September 23, 2016
Dreams
Dreams are not just imagination, they are also your mind trying to tell you something. A hidden meaning behind it your mind is trying to tell you. If you feel your in a bad relationship or your worried that something is going to go wrong the next day, your mind will use your imagination and your feelings from the moment you fall asleep until you wake up to try to explain to you what you think you should do or how you should go about your day.
Nightmares are your imagination and your fears, they only mean that your scared of a situation that you need to take or talk out. ignoring your dreams will only cause a recurring dream. A recurring dream is a dream that repeats it's self until you figure out the message.
for an example, I dreamed about my current husband before I met him. I had a recurring dream of a male figure all black standing in front of me talking. only near the end of my dream would I see a small part of his actual look. Before I started my last high school I had the dream and I got a glimpse of his face. The very next day I started my night class and I met my husband. The dreams stopped so I assumed the dreams where showing me who I was going to be with forever. Sadly that was not it. My dream was telling me that this was the man that was going to turn me in to the best mother I could be. I now have two beautiful boys from him. To this day I still don't have the dream. I had that dream since I was 4 years old once a year. Then after I met him 5 years ago they have stopped.
I took me until last year to realize and understand one dream. Today I would like you to take a few minutes and think about one of your dreams and comment about what happened in it and what you think it's about.
Blessed be everyone have a beautiful day
Nightmares are your imagination and your fears, they only mean that your scared of a situation that you need to take or talk out. ignoring your dreams will only cause a recurring dream. A recurring dream is a dream that repeats it's self until you figure out the message.
for an example, I dreamed about my current husband before I met him. I had a recurring dream of a male figure all black standing in front of me talking. only near the end of my dream would I see a small part of his actual look. Before I started my last high school I had the dream and I got a glimpse of his face. The very next day I started my night class and I met my husband. The dreams stopped so I assumed the dreams where showing me who I was going to be with forever. Sadly that was not it. My dream was telling me that this was the man that was going to turn me in to the best mother I could be. I now have two beautiful boys from him. To this day I still don't have the dream. I had that dream since I was 4 years old once a year. Then after I met him 5 years ago they have stopped.
I took me until last year to realize and understand one dream. Today I would like you to take a few minutes and think about one of your dreams and comment about what happened in it and what you think it's about.
Blessed be everyone have a beautiful day
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
My thoughts for today, Wednesday, September 21, 2016
For privacy we will call the people i live with;
My boyfriend= Derek
My oldest= Cory
My youngest= James
Boyfriends cousin= Dustin
So today I was talking with a friend of mine from way back that is going through a similar issue as me. She got married and got her heart broken, but her husband wont agree to a divorce. She started seeing someone while she is married but separated from her current husband. My friend is so happy her daughter and son look up to the man she is with as a father. Well, her boyfriend proposed to her last night, she didn't give him an answer. So she called me today and told me and asked me what I thought. I told her that even though she is legally married doesn't mean she can't be engaged until her and her boyfriend can figure out how to get the divorce taken care of.
I asked my friend if she was truly in love with her boyfriend and she said she never knew what true love was until she met her boyfriend. Her kids love him and he loves them. She said her kids started doing better in school and behave a lot better since hes been in their life.
We talked a little more and asked me if she should tell him yes. I looked away from my phone and saw a picture on my computer of me and "Derek" and I told her, if she's ready for a new beginning, then tell him yes.
The point of me telling you all of this as my viewers is because, love is so many things. Good and bad, and you don't really know what or when it will happen. If you are truly in love then go for it. It's for everyone, but you just need to look for it. I thought I found it with my husband, but I wasn't good enough for him and he had another family with someone else while married with me. I left him and filed for divorce and he won't except it. I moved on while being separated and I met Derek. My youngest son loves him and looks at him as a father. I fall in love every time Derek looks at me, comes to bed at night, takes care of me when I'm sick, takes care of "James" when he's sick, plays with him or just wants to talk with me or James. I know in my heart that when "Cory" comes home Derek, James, and Cory will love each other just as much as Derek and James already do. I dream about the day that Cory comes home for good.
Now anyone that knows Derek and myself knows that we argue a lot and we disagree, but at the end of the day we realize how stupid our arguments are and how much we love each other. We know if we didn't argue or disagree our relationship wouldn't grow and we wouldn't be happy. Nothing is trivial. For those who don't know what trivial means, something to little or small. Nothing is to little or to small for me and Derek. We take everything to heart and we work it out, because we love each other. I just want you as my viewers to know that. I want you guys to know that no matter how small it is argue just a tiny bit and when you guys realize that you still love one another, laugh. Laugh as hard as you can, give each other a hug and a kiss and tell each other you love them and work it out.
Well that's all I have for right now at the moment. Comment your opinions, or if you have questions or need advice.
Love each other and tell one other as much as you can. We are not going to been on earth forever.
My boyfriend= Derek
My oldest= Cory
My youngest= James
Boyfriends cousin= Dustin
So today I was talking with a friend of mine from way back that is going through a similar issue as me. She got married and got her heart broken, but her husband wont agree to a divorce. She started seeing someone while she is married but separated from her current husband. My friend is so happy her daughter and son look up to the man she is with as a father. Well, her boyfriend proposed to her last night, she didn't give him an answer. So she called me today and told me and asked me what I thought. I told her that even though she is legally married doesn't mean she can't be engaged until her and her boyfriend can figure out how to get the divorce taken care of.
I asked my friend if she was truly in love with her boyfriend and she said she never knew what true love was until she met her boyfriend. Her kids love him and he loves them. She said her kids started doing better in school and behave a lot better since hes been in their life.
We talked a little more and asked me if she should tell him yes. I looked away from my phone and saw a picture on my computer of me and "Derek" and I told her, if she's ready for a new beginning, then tell him yes.
The point of me telling you all of this as my viewers is because, love is so many things. Good and bad, and you don't really know what or when it will happen. If you are truly in love then go for it. It's for everyone, but you just need to look for it. I thought I found it with my husband, but I wasn't good enough for him and he had another family with someone else while married with me. I left him and filed for divorce and he won't except it. I moved on while being separated and I met Derek. My youngest son loves him and looks at him as a father. I fall in love every time Derek looks at me, comes to bed at night, takes care of me when I'm sick, takes care of "James" when he's sick, plays with him or just wants to talk with me or James. I know in my heart that when "Cory" comes home Derek, James, and Cory will love each other just as much as Derek and James already do. I dream about the day that Cory comes home for good.
Now anyone that knows Derek and myself knows that we argue a lot and we disagree, but at the end of the day we realize how stupid our arguments are and how much we love each other. We know if we didn't argue or disagree our relationship wouldn't grow and we wouldn't be happy. Nothing is trivial. For those who don't know what trivial means, something to little or small. Nothing is to little or to small for me and Derek. We take everything to heart and we work it out, because we love each other. I just want you as my viewers to know that. I want you guys to know that no matter how small it is argue just a tiny bit and when you guys realize that you still love one another, laugh. Laugh as hard as you can, give each other a hug and a kiss and tell each other you love them and work it out.
Well that's all I have for right now at the moment. Comment your opinions, or if you have questions or need advice.
Love each other and tell one other as much as you can. We are not going to been on earth forever.
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
When you think of life
For privacy we will call the people i live with;
My boyfriend= Derek
My oldest= Cory
My youngest= James
Boyfriends cousin= Dustin
When you think of life, do you think where you will be in the next 10 years? Or maybe, who will you be for the actions you make? I think about that all the time. I think in 10 years I will be the same person I've always been. The only thing that will be different is I will be 10 years older and wiser. When you're younger, you think you will get to goof off all the time, no responsibilities, or cares, no expectations, but as you get older you come to realize there will always be responsibilities and expectations. Some times even at a young age you have to learn that the world isn't handed to you. There will be things that you will have to deal with.
I have my youngest full time. I do not work, but I learn that ever moment I get with my youngest is a beautiful time. I watch him grow and learn. "Derek" is amazing with "James". Derek is not the biologic father of my two boys, but James loves Derek as if he is his son. Derek loves James as if he's his daddy. They laugh and play and when James does do something wrong Derek does punish him, but James always knows Derek loves him.
When I was growing up, I had to learn about sadness, death and un-love. As an adult I've learned that with all the sadness, death and un-love, that I will teach my kids the way life is and how it will sometimes sad and painful but there are good things to come out of life. I'll teach them that with time and hard work they can be whatever they want to be.
"Dustin" is like a close uncle to James. Even though he's Derek's cousin. Dustin plays with James, teaches him how to skateboard, and spends time with him. Derek and Dustin are the biggest impacts at home for James.When Cory comes home I know Derek and Dustin will be doing the same for him as well.
I've learned a lot through out the years, but the one thing I'm still learning is that, home is where ever you make it as long as you have good people in your life and love and support from others. A lot of people take that for granted and some still act like a child, because they aren't ready to face reality and the real world. It's okay to be a child sometimes, but not all the time.
We are adults now and adults need to buckle down and face situations head on and face facts that we are not 10 years old now we are in our 20's and have kids and there is no time to play games all the time. We need to provide for our families and put our feet down when times get hard. Life is not easy, it's not fair and it's not always fun.
When I think about life this is what I think about all the time. Thank you.
My boyfriend= Derek
My oldest= Cory
My youngest= James
Boyfriends cousin= Dustin
When you think of life, do you think where you will be in the next 10 years? Or maybe, who will you be for the actions you make? I think about that all the time. I think in 10 years I will be the same person I've always been. The only thing that will be different is I will be 10 years older and wiser. When you're younger, you think you will get to goof off all the time, no responsibilities, or cares, no expectations, but as you get older you come to realize there will always be responsibilities and expectations. Some times even at a young age you have to learn that the world isn't handed to you. There will be things that you will have to deal with.
I have my youngest full time. I do not work, but I learn that ever moment I get with my youngest is a beautiful time. I watch him grow and learn. "Derek" is amazing with "James". Derek is not the biologic father of my two boys, but James loves Derek as if he is his son. Derek loves James as if he's his daddy. They laugh and play and when James does do something wrong Derek does punish him, but James always knows Derek loves him.
When I was growing up, I had to learn about sadness, death and un-love. As an adult I've learned that with all the sadness, death and un-love, that I will teach my kids the way life is and how it will sometimes sad and painful but there are good things to come out of life. I'll teach them that with time and hard work they can be whatever they want to be.
"Dustin" is like a close uncle to James. Even though he's Derek's cousin. Dustin plays with James, teaches him how to skateboard, and spends time with him. Derek and Dustin are the biggest impacts at home for James.When Cory comes home I know Derek and Dustin will be doing the same for him as well.
I've learned a lot through out the years, but the one thing I'm still learning is that, home is where ever you make it as long as you have good people in your life and love and support from others. A lot of people take that for granted and some still act like a child, because they aren't ready to face reality and the real world. It's okay to be a child sometimes, but not all the time.
We are adults now and adults need to buckle down and face situations head on and face facts that we are not 10 years old now we are in our 20's and have kids and there is no time to play games all the time. We need to provide for our families and put our feet down when times get hard. Life is not easy, it's not fair and it's not always fun.
When I think about life this is what I think about all the time. Thank you.
My new life
My name is Babe. I have two beautiful little boys, and a great boyfriend. My blog starts with how I manage to be blessed with this life.
I met my boyfriend sadly online, but I'm blessed that I did. We've been together for two and a half months. I know it's still early, but me and my youngest are happy.
Yes me and my youngest. My oldest does not life with us at the moment that is a different story. I see him all the time.
We living a beautiful house. With my boyfriend, my youngest and my boyfriends cousin.
Yes me and my youngest. My oldest does not life with us at the moment that is a different story. I see him all the time.
We living a beautiful house. With my boyfriend, my youngest and my boyfriends cousin.
For privacy we will call the people i live with;
My boyfriend= Derek
My oldest= Cory
My youngest= James
Boyfriends cousin= Dustin
My boyfriend= Derek
My oldest= Cory
My youngest= James
Boyfriends cousin= Dustin
Now Cory he comes by and has a blast and me Cory and James spend as much time together as possible.
Derek and Dustin they head butt all the time, but this house its like when you walk in, you feel home.
Anyways love eachother like its your last day on earth. Dont let a little spat mess up love
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)